Saturday, September 28, 2013

एक हितगुज..माझं माझ्याशीच!

खूप दिवसांपासून एक खतरनाक विचार माझ्या सुपिक डोक्यात घर करून होता...आपण काहीतरी, एकदा तरी मराठीत लिहावं असं खूप खूप मनापासून वाटत होते. पण तसं करायची हिम्मत एकजूट होतंच नव्हती. पण आज म्हटलं काही तरी खरंच लिहून पाहावं...निदान प्रयत्न तरी करावा...नाही जमलं तर द्यावं सोडून..त्याच्यात काय? पण निदान प्रयत्न केल्याचं समाधान आणि सुख तरी अनुभवता येईल. 

मराठी हा माझा तसा फार काही आवडीचा विषय वैगरे नाही पण शाळेत दहावी पर्यंत ह्या विषयात सर्वात जास्त मार्क मी कधी सोडले नाहीत. त्यामुळे ह्या भाषेशी एक वेगळंच नातं निर्माण झालं होतं. पुढे एका मराठी कुटुंबात लग्न होऊन मुंबईला आल्यापासून तर ह्या भाषेचाच आसरा होता. पूर्वी नवीन लग्न झाल्यावर बऱ्याच जणांनी विचारलं की मला एव्हडं मराठी कसं बोलता येतं! पण बऱ्याच जणांना अजूनही माहित नाही की गोव्याला मराठी हा एक विषय असतो आणि बहुतेच कोंकणी बोलणारे सगळेच मराठी पण फार सफाईदार पणे बोलू शकतात.

माझी मराठी काही एकदम कुशल पातळीवरची वैगरे नाही पण तरीही चेतन एव्हडी वर्ष माझ्याशी यशस्वीपणे संवाद साधतोय म्हणजे जरा तरी चांगल्या पातळीवरची असली पाहिजे...नाही का? अजूनही बऱ्याच ठिकाणी बोलताना कोंकणीचा अंश जाणवतो... अजूनही माश्या आल्या म्हणायच्या ऐवजी मूस आले हे अगदी सहजपणे तोंडातून बाहेर पडतं. अजूनही घरातल्या कामवालीला मुग भिजत घाल म्हणताना कुठेतरी फुगत घाल म्हणायचा मोह आवरायला बरेच कष्ट घ्यावे लागतात. आणि मग स्वतःवरच चीड येते कि एव्हडी वर्षं झाली तरीही एका भाषेवर आपण प्रभुत्व मिळवू नाही शकलो....पण असो...सगळ्यांनाच सगळंच कुठे जमते, म्हणून तर हे जग चालते....

पण आता जेव्हा मुलांना वेगवेगळ्या भाषा खूपच सहज आणि सफाईदार पणे बोलताना पाहते तेव्हा मात्र खूप समाधान वाटते. इंग्रजी भाषा हि आज-काल काळाची एक गरज झाली आहे त्यामुळे मुलं ही भाषा पटकन शिकतात. त्या व्यतिरिक्त त्यांची शाळा इंग्रजी माध्यमाची असल्यामुळे अजून भर पडते. पण घरी जेव्हा ही पलटण माझ्याशी एकदम शुद्ध कोंकणीत आणि बाकीच्यांशी शुद्ध मराठीत बोलते तेव्हा मात्र खूप गर्व वाटतो ह्या मुलांचा. बंगळूरू मधून जर मुंबईला आलो नसतो तर कदाचित दोघे कन्नड पण सराईत पणे बोलले असते. असं म्हणतात कि माणसाला जेव्ह्ड्या जास्त भाषा येतात तेव्हडा तो माणूस विद्वान. त्यामुळे जेव्ह्ड्या भाषा शिकता येतील तेव्ह्ड्या जरूर शिकाव्यात.

शेवटी मनातली एक इच्छा पूर्ण झाली ह्याचा आनंद आणि अभिमान, दोन्हीही आहे...काहीही झालं तरी मी मरेपर्यंत स्वतःला गोयंकारच म्हणेन पण  हा अभिप्राय मराठीतून लिहिताना एक वेगळीच मजा आहे!!! आणि ती मजा मला खूप दिवसांपासून अनुभवायची होती!!

(ह्या लेखनात अजूनही चुका असू शकतात..कृपया तुम्हाला आढळल्यास खाली कमेंट्स मध्ये त्यांची नोंद करायला विसरू नका.)



Thursday, September 26, 2013

The Lunchbox - My first film review!

Finally watched ‘The Lunchbox’. Since I saw the trailors of the movie, I wanted to catch it anyhow. Besides, the entire cast of the film was just fuelling up my desire further. I love Irrfan Khan. His acting has always charmed me right from the Badrinath/Somnath Twin characters he played in the epic tele-serial ‘Chandrakanta’.  Films like Maqbool, Pan Singh Tomar, The Namesake, A Mighty Heart, Slumdog Millionaire, New York and not to forget Life of Pi further substantiated his acting abilities and tagged him as one of the hand-picked actors this industry has to provide.

About the actress Nimrit Kaur, she’s certainly awesome with a very stout existence on screen. It’s not easy to leave a noteworthy mark especially in the presence of two biggies, but she’s done a decent job in mitigating her role as Ila. Considering this is her debut film in a lead role, Nimrit Kaur enticed me with her terrific performance.  

What do I say about Nawazuddin Siddiqui! This man has just wooed me right from the first time I saw him on screen. He has portrayed strong characters in films like New York, Dev D, Firaaq, Black Friday, Gangs of Wasseypur I & II, Kahaani, Peepli Live & Talaash. In The Lunchbox, he plays Irrfan Khan’s assistant in his office doing a delightful job and flawlessly complimenting Irrfan Khan. The duo efficaciously crafts a total mystic on screen carrying the audience in a different domain.

Ila (Nimrit Kaur) is like any other middle-class Mumbai housewife. Her day starts early and involves the daily doings like getting her only daughter ready for school, preparing food for her husband who doesn’t seem to have any interest left in either Ila or their marriage,  laundry, shopping, etc.  She’s intensely alone. Call it a blunder, fluke or sheer fortune, one day the lunchbox is not delivered to her husband but reaches the desk of Saajan Fernandes (Irrfan). This lunchbox brings certain passion in this widower’s lonely life. Saajan tastes the flavours of love after years of depending on the boring mess food. His soul is warmed by this food. Ila realises that the tiffin she so dearly packs for her husband is had by someone else but is happy to see it all clean at the end of the day. On the insistence of her neighbouring ‘Aunty’ (It’s just the voice that’s portrayed and I have a strong feeling it’s of Bharti Achrekar, another noted actress), she decides to write a note to ‘the other man’ and sends it along with the lunchbox the next day. Saajan replies this note and thus begins an exchange of notes on regular basis leading to a vague bond. Ila and Saajan revive themselves with these handwritten notes. They decide to give life another chance.

The film beautifully deals with depression, isolation and unanswered love. The Lunchbox is also an ode to Mumbai. You peep into the jam-packed local trains, the over-crowded buses and the busy roads. It displays how gentle relations and ties are formed amongst the hustle bustle of the city so well-known to us. The film also takes you in your earlier years while taking a glimpse of certain scenes from Doordarshan’s Yeh Jo Hai Zindagi and songs from Saajan.

Full marks to debutant director Ritesh Batra for generating a world so current yet so ancient. It’s a decent variation to see two people involving over love letters than SMS’s and Whatsapp messaging. Ritesh also has a robust grip over the storyline of the film. There are few sections in the film which are a bit stretched but you are so captivated into the film’s expressiveness that you overlook the lengthy parts. Ritesh is aided by a talented star cast who uplifts the film to, all in all, a diverse level. Adjectives nose-dive when it comes to unfolding Irrfan’s enactment. He hardly speaks in the film and just lets his body do the talking. Nimrit Kaur is a discovery. She’s the lash of fresh air that’s so required in our cinema today. She demonstrates all feelings; love, desire, grief and delight with copious ease. Her efforts seem graceful.


All things considered, The Lunchbox is one of the finest films Hindi film industry has created. It lifts us a notch higher. Do yourself an act of kindness and catch this film. And you are cautioned… you might be starving for some good home-cooked food and affection when the end credits roll.

Saturday, August 24, 2013

Old Habits Die Hard.....!

When kids are around, it appears that I am constantly in a hurry…. There’s a mysterious earnestness that circles me when I see my chipmunks around and I thrust things to conclusion when it’s really not required.

Yesterday, being Friday, I could have afforded to be in peacetime. To let the day move at its own pace as it was the beginning of a weekend. Yet, I cherry-picked to ensure that things are completed right at their usual pace and time. Kids weren't in a great mood for the completion of homework, and yet I insisted they finish their homework, worksheets, assignments…all at one go… even their dinner. And though I love the way my daughter says…"Raav goh Mamma…falya suti aasa goh..” (Mamma, please relax today…its holiday tomorrow), there’s a sense of urgency that occupies a better part of my brains.

In my quest for excellence and flawlessness in everything, I feel I am turning mechanical in a way. I just read a lovely article on Facebook written by a Mom whose entire life revolves around the words ‘Hurry Up’ and shockingly, I could just see myself fitting in the bill like a jigsaw puzzle. Weekends are supposed to be for relaxation and freaking out and yet I seem to hurry up to ensure that all the activities planned are taken to task at stipulated period. What the heck if we reach 30 mins late for grocery shopping? No one is going to sue me for it or there isn’t any time slots dedicated to the shoppers…! And before your brains start working overtime…NO…I am not insane and neither have I allowed my life to be dictated by the tickling of the watch. It’s just that I am a stickler for commitments…commitments made to myself…commitments made to others!

In my house, Fridays are generally dedicated to one’s own impulses. There are no strict sleeping rituals for kids. They are allowed to sleep as and when they want.  They are even allowed to sleep in our bedroom, if they wish..which they always do! So, as usual, yesterday I and kids ended up getting into my bed well past midnight. I was so sleepy that I was struggling with my eyelids. And yet I didn't want to miss out on the small little gossips and chatters that kids were into. Suddenly Akshat got out of the bed and went into the adjoining balcony. I moved the curtains to check what he was up to at 12:30 in the night. To my absolute dismay, he was just sitting out there tranquilly gazing at the broad horizon and the stars above. I was just too inquisitive to know what he was perceiving so meticulously and just casually investigated. He said…'I am looking at my country, Mamma!’… pointing out to several activities going around at that time. The flights taking off and descending at the International Airport that has an unblemished visibility from my balcony, the Metro bridge that’s still under construction, the dancing lights of the highways and the cars fleeting by, the people walking on the roads and not to forget few parents and kids still enjoying the serenity and calmness of the night-time in the children’s’ park below. This 6 yr old chap, after a tough day (of course, in his own little way), at 12:30 at night chose to observe the world around him. Such innocence! Touché… For a moment, I let go of my inhibitions that it was past midnight and we were well into the other day and appreciatively joined him in his endeavour.

As adults, we become so enthralled in ‘doing’ things that we barely care enough to check how we do those things…whether we enjoy doing them…whether the same can be done in a more creative way  and so on! On contrary, kids reflect much more creativity in an out-of-the-box mode that sometimes put us to complete embarrassment. Just like the other day, my daughter asked me in an awfully off-the-cuff tone while driving back home whether there’s a ‘Nail Fairy’, too! While familiarizing them to the ‘Tooth Fairy’, it hadn’t occurred to me once that there could be other Fairies too…Such are the joys of childhood!



And even while I pen this,  my eyes carelessly stroll to check the time on my pc for absolutely no reason….I guess, this is what is called ‘Old habits die hard’…!


Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Rakshabandhan!

Today kids celebrated Rakshabandhan. This festival is celebrated to mark the strong bond between a brother and his sister. It's a solemn promise that a brother makes to his sister to stand by her, in times required in lieu of a Rakhi that the sister ties on his wrist. My kids are too small to understand the history behind the celebration. All they look forward to is buying colourful Rakhis and enjoying the fun while tying it to each other’s wrists. Typically, a Rakhi is tied by the sister on her brother’s wrist. However, Aashvi insisted that Akshat should tie a Rakhi on her wrist too, in return. 

Sharing some of the snaps here…





So, here's wishing all a very Happy Rakshabandhan and may your bond with your siblings grow strongest and wealthiest with each passing moment! 

Monday, August 12, 2013

The Return...

I am not going to provide any justifications as to why I couldn't blog as much as I wanted to. Well, as I expect you to recognize that there have been whys and wherefores and other primacies that kept me pretty employed, I could not get into the precise disposition to blog about anything. Well, now that my life is a bit more rationalized, here I am.

Kids schooling and all related activities keep me quite on toes. Each evening, as I enthusiastically wait for their appearance from school, I correspondingly fear the projects that would follow, the home works that would keep us awake until late night and the Handbook notes that are, on occasion, hard to read and comprehend. On the other hand, the excitement of spotting the stars and encouraging remarks on their books makes it all worth for. Sometimes, when we slog so hard trying to find the right pictures/information on Google, cutting and pasting in their scrap books, I sense like I am re-living my schooling through them. And when I see a star comment on that assignment, I feel so thrilled and naïvely promise self to do better the next time. Such are the joys of parenting. I’ll post some of our assignments shortly for you to relish our creativity.

For the time-being, sharing a beautiful picture we clicked on our way to Pune. There are these awesome tiny waterfalls along the stretch near Lonavla which we just could not resist.

Enjoy the monsoons and have fun!

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Between me and Ma!


“You better keep them away from those computers, iPads and iPhones. I just read an article in the newspapers today how they harm the delicate minds of kids. I am so thankful that none of these gadgets existed while I was raising you. Didn't you have a pleasurable childhood without these things? Why don’t you understand how bad they are? They’ll turn your otherwise smart kids into junkies. I am not going to tell you again. Do whatever you want. You are a mother now and it’s your obligation towards it that you raise your kids in the best possible way……,” Ma shrieked on the phone and before I could open my mouth to say something, she banged it.

This is not the first time she has called especially to lecture me about how I am spoiling my kids by allowing them the access of iPad and computer. While I understand and appreciate her heartfelt concerns, I expect her to realize that time has changed drastically since she brought me up and it’s important to be in pace to grow and nurture. I grew up in a different atmosphere. Although, I didn't have any gadgets to my fancy, there were a number of other activities/things that never made me look for anything else. I was growing up in the safe and secure zone without having to worry about the child molesters and perverts around. In vacations, I would roam around my entire colony freely without Ma having to worry about my safety. And those busy days full of outdoor activities never made me realise the absence of gadgets or even a computer at home.

Times have changed today. I freaking worry each day about the safe return of my kids back home from school. It really embarrasses me beyond your imagination when I ask my kids if anyone had touched them ‘badly’ during their stay out of the home. I die a guilt-death each day when I literally take names to bring out things like ‘Did Mr Cleaner touch you anywhere apart from your hand while helping you get in the bus????’

While I agree with Ma that the time kids spend on these gadgets should be limited, I am totally against not using them entirely. Technology has advanced in leaps and bounds and what’s the use if we don’t exploit it in our favour! There are some wonderful apps available that teach kids to solve Maths or Language puzzles in the friendliest ways that sometimes even we fail to. So, where’s the harm if they are learning something new along with some recreation? Yes, I do not allow downloading those car-crashing games or similar ones but I never stop them from indulging into something that has an educational or creative value linked to it.

I understand that Ma’s concerns are mostly because she isn't much aware about these apps and all she can relate an iPad or a computer to is games and more games. With due respect to her, I think I am going to spend a good part of my stay in her home, during upcoming vacations, explaining her how great the tool is. And she being a teacher herself, I am sure, will finally succumb to its heavens. Touché!

Friday, March 15, 2013

Love...too difficult to scout and too busy to note!

OK... I am going to start with the same old line....

It's been a long since I blogged…. :-)

Life suddenly seems to have become extremely busy and rather tedious. As usual, managing 5 yr old set of Twins pretty much occupies my patience, time, energy, efforts and more importantly my entire being. And to top it up, I am assigned with an extra task of hunting a new home that we soon plan to buy and move in. Although I love doing whatever it takes to fetch me that golden catch (the home of my dreams) it does keep me on my toes almost all the day. Consistent browsing of the property sites, listing out and then comparing various properties as per our prerequisites and budget and not to mention the innumerable phone calls to agents, brokers, builders to set up appointments for the visit, really has turned me into pretty much a nerd actually.

Amidst this entire hustle bustle, managing to find some me-time is actually a never ending challenge. Nurturing a hobby, taking a stroll by the park, going swimming, or even an elaborate and soothing shower are few among the many luxuries I really look forward to. Sometimes, although it may sound cliché, I wonder if it’s really that difficult to live a life I am currently living! How did our mothers and grandmothers survived more than one motherhoods without compromising much on their sanity, patience and an undying enthusiasm to manage their jobs, kids and the kitchen. So what, if they weren’t upset about their cushions not being up right and tight at all times, didn’t even notice that the toys (whatever little there were) were scattered around the house and remained pretty much the entire day and sometimes overnight, didn’t realise the importance of spending quality time with the kids reading stories or just having some meaningful conversations, didn’t feel the need to adjust those every (or most) evening visits to the park in an already busy schedule, didn’t bother about bringing in the variations in the menu each day, didn’t need to haggle around the house helps (mostly because there were none…) or worry about making some creative and exciting weekend plans! But hey! What the heck? All that mattered then was their husbands and in-laws being happy about the delicious meals that were being cooked, kids were gladly allowed to blow their noses in the ‘pallu’ of their sarees and most interestingly their willingness to live and operate out of the secure walls of the joint families more out of love and passion than compulsion. They certainly didn’t have to rely on some social gatherings like kitty parties to vent out their emotions and relieve their thoughts especially when there were other ladies in the house not just to share the mundane routine and day-to-day chores but also to share the feelings, joys, happiness and most significantly the sorrows!

Families have scattered. The concept of nuclear living has taken over the modern and so called sophisticated life. The thought of sharing the home with someone as close as your own in-laws feels and looks like a challenge. I guess some of the disadvantages of modernised and civilised living…! Well, I can’t expect myself to have a life that my grandmother did…I rather enjoy some perks that she didn't.

And in this busy and gutsy world, we have unknowingly let go some of the basic virtues of our being like the joy of giving, kindness, empathy, love! Just a day back, one of my Facebook friends wrote a wonderful note on Kindness. She is a great writer and I truly appreciate a certain sense in her writing that keeps her readers glued. She wrote about how little acts of kindness create a remarkable influence of our lives, in some or the other way. Her note made me wonder how much we have compromised to be in the space we are currently in. When my kids greet our neighbours in the lobby or in the lift, I feel so ridiculously proud of them. Such incidents compel me to value and respect the depth of relationship my parents and our then neighbours shared when me and my siblings spent the better part of our days at their home rushing to our own home only for those short lunch breaks which we would readily give up if opportunities struck.  When my daughter today gifted one of her most beloved, recently bought toy ball to her friend at the park just because she was moving abroad, I felt very thrilled about her generosity.  But what about those countless occasions when I, as a child, have done something similar and shared things that were dear to me, with my friends back then! No one even realised that it’s something worth noting. Yes, the world is, indeed, changing and whatever repercussions it may have on our lives, one thing for sure is that we have learnt to value the things that were once taken for granted. And I believe, that’s not too bad as it sounds.

And on that note, I am so glad that I could finally manage to do what I love doing the most. Blogging. If nothing else, it better be a hard kick on my butt to ensure that I find some time to do what I really enjoy.

Cheers to this boost and the weekend! Have fun and enjoy!


Friday, March 1, 2013

March, here you are!

And here it arises! I am referring to a brand new month that’s just begun today – March! 

In all conscience, I shouldn't be writing about it but I am really nervous about this month. It makes me edgy. It’s the amalgamation of two events; my kids annual day and my Pa’s death. Last year, on March 30th, when we were just getting ready to leave for kids annual day at their kindergarten, I received that awful call informing me about the demise of my father. I know it’s really injudicious of me to link the two episodes but can’t help; after all a mother and a daughter that I am!

Well, it’s my kids annual day this Tuesday, March 5th and I really, really plead that all goes well as they are truly enthusiastic about the event. March, please be decent to me this time! Just read it somewhere that March is the herald of spring, a month of promises and new beginnings. Amen! 

And for the rest of you, may you have a great month. Some of you may be busy preparing your own exams or helping your broods with theirs. All the best to you, whichever category you fall in!


Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Women - Burden or Backbone? My reflections....

The below is my entry to the Indusladies 4th Annual International Women’s Day Blog Contest!




Enough is said and written about the women liberation and empowerment in this era. Are we really? This isn't directed to a few amongst us who are so-called cultured, classy and sophisticated; who shops for groceries on-line, splurges on branded stuff, sends their kids to high-end schools and delights in either a kitty-party or a day out. Honestly, I don’t mean to humiliate those who are fortunate enough to indulge into these extravagances but what about those, whom we face each day, observe them suffering, die a horrifying death each night only to face the morning with much gusto and yet their feet firmly into the ground of realism through an abstract power to survive. Yes, I am referring to our maids, those abandoned mothers at some shady old-age homes, some homeless women roaming on the streets seeking compassion and benevolence, those little daughters physically abused each hour and those incalculable girls and women raped every fleeting second.

A woman has the greatest supremacy – the power to give birth, the power to take this human race frontward. And while we may claim that this is her prevalent forte, there are cases where the same woman is tortured and enforced to abort the foetus just because it’s a girl - another woman, in a sense! I am a born optimist. I do believe that women are undoubtedly the backbone of not just their own families but the entire human race. However, when I read about the female foetus being dumped in the trash, it irritates me; when I hear about another woman raped, it enrages me and it’s absolutely sickening when I hear cases about fathers molesting and abusing their own daughters.

Just barring a few examples, I believe we have to go far afield in accomplishing that much warranted deliverance, respect and affection for the womankind. I and you are perhaps just fortunate to have been born in the non-toxic and comfy zone we spent our childhood in, to have been married to the man who respects and cares and to have been blessed with a father, brother or a son who would lay their own lives to protect us from any odds. But each morning, when I welcome my maid along with those fresh bruises on her body (courtesy her drunkard, good-for-nothing husband) and watch her struggle for survival to meet the needs of her two useless grown-up sons and yet live a life that’s dedicated to everyone else except herself, my faith in our Goddesses Durga and Kaali shakes a bit.

Not every woman is likely to be Indra Nooyi or Sonia Gandhi or Angelina Jolie but should that stop her from being respected, valued, appreciated and loved and cared for? And when each among us is conferred with these basic moralities, just then we can proudly say that the human race has truly shed that extra burden and women are without a doubt, the backbone! 

Touché … 





Monday, February 25, 2013

A Birth of a New Hobby!

Last week just zoomed past.  The usual kiddies’ stuff, a couple of article deliverables and more prominently a melancholy of turning 35 pretty much occupied me wholly. I know, I know. I have already written a post and expressed myself about the same which ultimately helped me overcome its blues. Thank God the birthday was on Saturday and that gave me a couple of days to recuperate and face the Monday.

Apart from the birthday thing, there’s another purpose for this weekend being an extra special for me. Of late, I've been thinking of investing in a good, worth-a-while sewing machine. Blame it on the various sewing blogs, Pinterest and the numerous YouTube videos on DIY Sewing Projects.  Sewing is not a new thing for me as I have grown up watching my Mom sew everything right from our dresses to her saree-blouses all by herself. Obviously, she didn't have a high-class-loaded sewing machine so she did whatever she could with her basic Merritt model, supposed to be quite a legendary brand 35 years back. She had the one that looked similar to the Singer one shown below:



So, coming back to me, we decided to go hunting for an appropriate model for my personal use. After a brief research on the internet, I had pretty much made up my mind about the brand I needed and didn't take long to pick one up. The one I settled on is Usha Janome Allure. It looks like this…



This machine is an automatic zig zag sewing machine with two dials for pattern and stitch length selection and a free arm for circular stitching. It also has four step button holing and stretch stitching. It has 14 built–in-stitches and 7 applications of which the main ones are - stretch stitching, four step button holing, button fixing, rolled hemming, blind stitch hemming, zip fixing. Now, all this sounds a bit too technical but I am waiting for the technician to turn up and give me a demo before I get into that hobby-mode.

So, while I am trying my hands on something I never thought I would, you guys have a great week ahead!

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Turning 35! Happy Birthday to your's truly....

35 feels like a bit. An onset. A new beginning, maybe!

I am turning 35 this weekend and for some reason it seems to be a bit of a breakthrough.  Thirty-five. Five years since Thirty; Five years from Forty. When I turned Thirty, I barely noticed. I was yawning in the troughs of nurturing my new-borns.  A “milk production, constant diaper changing, ever baby cuddling, never resting and sleeping” device! I barely noticed what season it was, leave alone that I had turned thirty. It seems that ever since I have had kids, my ageing  my evolution, my progression in some way has sort of come to a shrieking standstill. And that’s been tolerable actually. I have been gifted to pretend I am still 29, the age I was when kids were born. I have virtually allowed myself believe that everything is just at a halt, waiting for me to be back into the spectacle when things are much clearer and the kids are a bit more self-reliant.

But here it is – I’ll soon turn 35. Age is banging hard on my door, whether I like it or not. Body mass has redeployed itself – stuffs around the back have appeared to have slurped through my body and settled down on the front. I've got some grey hairs, sun burns have become more superficial, and I can’t concentrate up close while reading quite well as I used to.

The other factual symptom that my life is really not at halt waiting for my reappearance is the fact that my kiddos are growing up. Nothing validates the fleeting time more obviously than children growing in front of your very eyes. Almost six years have passed by since I have entered motherhood and also turned thirty, and my growing children have ensured I don’t live in denial about that realism.

Voilà!  As so many do, I am on my way to crank into the-big-thirty-five, reacting with a squeak when I am reminded about that. Obviously, I am not too happy about it and do feel sorry for myself. But, what the heck! This defeatism and self-pity crap is surely irritating, and you know I am not the lone who does it. Why can’t we just accept this unavoidable ageing progression and the milestones that compliment it?

So to turn it up, and smack some wisdom into myself, I consider this might be a decent time to take stock. I think to cheer myself up and truly rejoice this mark of 35 years; I must list all that is worthy about this phase.  So read along as I attempt really hard to get into the mood and comment on what a marvellous half full glass 35 in reality is.
  • I can eventually just be comfortable into my own body. It is what it is! The genes have already worked their magic and the baby-making is over and done with. Well, I just can’t jump into that bikini straight away but I don’t need to give a damn to anyone while picking that maxi-dress at a store.
  • By this time, I have to recognize something. I have to have adequate life experience that I can be confident about the way the world goes round. And if someone asks for my advice on anything that I can, it better hold some water.
  • It wasn't too long ago when I was in a different set of clouds; engagement, marriage and then the babies before my child-bearing age was over. And now, I've done it! I got that wrapped up. Now it’s time to work out the next steps devoid of that crazy burden over my head.
  • Years ago, before kids were born; I despised to be on my own. It looked senseless and lonesome and too discreet. Now, I relish some time alone in my own company. To recollect myself from the past, reflect my own feelings, craft my own outlooks. OK!  I still don’t enjoy flying unaccompanied for too long, but mind you, whatever little time I get to myself, I savour and treasure.
  • At 35, all radio stations are my melodic companions. I enjoy the latest Top 10s as much as some oldies that I hum since my childhood. These melodies make me feel that I am still unaffected and when I unknowingly start swaying to the tune of ‘Pehlaa Nasha…’ I know it’s not over yet!
  • Grey hairs on me can be given up for lost as “highlights”. At least I’d like to believe so. And while we're on the subject, I know a lady who has ‘coloured’ her hair grey, so you know what I mean!
  • I give a damn to “What Not to Wear…” recommendations! At 35, I still feel like I can buy those t-shirts with all those funny little messages printed on them and get off scot-free.
  • Laugh lines just proves you've been happy and joyful. And those laugh lines just enhances your beauty when you smile.
  • As I nurture and raise my adorable Twins, in any case I know that one day, I have departed from this world with something really worthy and precious. That undeniably negates any alleged bitching and nit-picking about my age.
  • 35 is MERELY 35 and I look forward to more milestones and more achievements.
So, now that I have acknowledged I am at the refined, intelligent and gratified age, perhaps I can stand my ground and truly display how I have acquired a clue in future years. Every year onward, I am going to try very hard not to dwell (“try” being the keyword) on the “ageing” bit. Surely, enough already, it’s just frustrating. I want to live through it and keep taking stock and having a good time celebrating those achievements – big or small. And moreover, I need to get enthusiastic about what I still need to tackle, learn, rejoice and relish. My chipmunks are growing up and a little more independent – let’s deal with it, there is so much to accomplish!

And to conclude, in a casual conversation, one of my friend mentioned that the day we are born isn't intended for regretting about our grey hairs and worn-out body parts! Remember, this day is special because someone heck had a hard time herself to make your entry into this beautiful world all worth for. Yes! It’s none other than your mother. What else could be a more earnest occasion than this day to offer her a kind gratitude for her indeed incredible deed?

Whoa! We have blessed this world with our gracious presence, done some really cool things, added value in whatever big or small way and people have respected and loved us for it. And for those who want to cheer us on, we have a duty to accept that love, blow some birthday candles and get on with the party. So, a very very Happy Birthday to yours truly! Happy birthday to another stage of my life…. A bit more mellowed yet lot more mischievous!

Cheers to a new beginning!

(Many thanks to Women's Web for publishing this article on my birthday today! You guys just rock...:-)

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Advice for stressed out moms!

As I have nothing substantial to deliver in near future, all I do is reading some noteworthy blogs, especially written by those who have been there…done that! I've realised that this has hugely facilitated in overcoming some of my own deficiencies as a person, a friend, a wife and more importantly a mother. One such, I could hardly ignore and hence sharing it here word-by-word. The original post can be found at:



And if you are a busy mom too, you'll certainly co-relate...enjoy!

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Advice for Stressed Out Moms


I don't know about you, but I am at my wits end.
The never ending pile of laundry, the constant meal planning and preparation, driving kids from here to there, a home that is never clean, a car that is never clean, children that are never clean, and then whiny, disobedient kids to top it off.
On top of everything mom related, there is work issues, wanting to be a good wife and all that entails, wanting to keep in touch with and be a good friend to others, to volunteer and give back in the community, as well as meet personal goals.
stressed out
I am stressed out.
The second I even let my head get in a place where I think about the stress and annoyance, the mom guilt slips in.
“But Jane is suffering from cancer and she still has a spotless home.”
“Lucy has five more kids than me and always looks flawless and calm.”
“Jill works a full time job, has two kids and four pets, volunteers at church, and has never complained once.”
“I love my kids, being constantly upset with them is wrong.”
My friend Sonya shared a great quote:
Highlight Reel
 Which reminded me of this quote: 
comparison is thief
 Go Theodore!  He is exactly right.  I have found certain satisfaction in accomplishments only to turn around, see someone else “do it better” and immediately assume mine are awful.
And as a mom, wife, daughter, etc. I know that even when I am not comparing myself to others I can be overwhelmed with life’s daily tasks.
Sometimes its just hard.
I wanted to put together a list of things that can help!  So here are a few things I do to ease my daily burdens and frustrations.
1. Embrace paper plates.  Seriously.  Get all natural organic recycled if you have to, but just try it.  At least once a week.
2. Try saying yes to a child.  I find myself saying NO all day long.  No candy, no TV, no jumping, no screaming, etc.  If I allow moments of “yes” I am finding that there is less fighting, less headaches for me, and less backtalk when I ask them to fulfill a different task.  Its good to be consistent on important issues (like no running in the street and no hitting) but the occasional piece of candy is not worth me losing my mind over!
3. Hop onto your computer and laugh.  I have this Pinterest Board called Quotes and it makes me smile every.single. time.  All it takes is a good belly laugh for me to change my mood, perspective, and ability to respond to life like a normal, sane person.  (Try reading this pin aboutRandom Acts of Kindness if you need some inspiration and joy!)
Funny Quote
4. Make time to pursue your passion.  I happen to love baking.  I bake cakes and cupcakesand brownies and cookies.  I get a sense of satisfaction in creating something beautiful.
Neapolitan Rose Cake by iambaker.net
Maybe yours is scrapbooking or needlepoint or karate or cooking or garage saleing.  Just make sure you set aside some time for you.
Most have heard this before… but I had to hear it a 1,000 times before actually listening.  I always felt like I was being selfish or unreasonable to take time away from my family to do what I felt like doing.  The truth is that nurturing your self and soul is not selfish, it is our God given duty.  He wants us healthy and calm and able to love as He calls us to!
5. Check one thing off your “list” everyday.  Now, this one was painful for me to learn.  I am talking excruciating.  Being exhausted at night hardly lends itself to the extra motivation you sometimes need to complete tasks, and in those weak moments I would much rather leave things for the morning!
Know why that is a BAD bad idea?  Then you start out your day in a negative.  Having to clean to kitchen before you can make breakfast or having to start laundry so kids have clothes that day.  Making the (sometimes hard) choice to do it that night allows a peaceful morning, and allows you to “fresh” state of mind when looking forward.
 All that being said… one of the best things I can recommend is having a trusted sounding board.  Maybe its heartfelt prayer time with God, venting while cuddling with hubby at night, or getting together with friends to compare notes.
No matter what you do, know that you are NOT alone! :)

12 ways to beat the blues!


Everyone has a doomed day when your ‘oomph’ goes missing, nothing enthrals you and your motivation is playing peek-a-boo with you. It’s as though there is a lead weight on your ‘charming self’. What can you do to get your zing back and feel happier again?
With demanding jobs, a zillion things on our ‘to-do’ list and the constant effort in living an ambitious life; it’s only human to get down in the dumps occasionally. To add to it there are other factors that aggravate; traffic in gridlock mode, kids that won’t stop sulking, maids in a huff or the economy. If this wasn't enough, many of our cheerful mornings are wiped out with just one look at the newspapers. 
We aren't always fortunate to make a trip to the spa or invite our friends or family over to de-stress and cheer us up. In this article, I will share twelve sure-fire techniques to guarantee a ‘no-prescription-required’ breeze of cheer.

1. Carve your thoughts

It’s been proven that writing down the inner thoughts can immediately benefit in feeling free and relieved. Are you peeved about a bad day at work? Write about it. Blogging is another great way of an emotional ‘pick-me-up’, since a simple act of transferring the thoughts from your head onto another medium will give you spirits of resolution.

2. Get into workout mode

Isometrics, whether hard core Pilates or even a casual stroll releases endorphins which are otherwise known as ‘happiness chemicals’. Hence, it’s a good idea to take a brisk walk whenever your mood drops. You are sure to feel the difference.

3. Organise yourself

Cluttered drawers and desks can sometimes be really alarming. Your head will be much clearer just as your working area if you take some time in organising your surroundings. You don’t have to totally empty your closets to get such an effect, however simply sorting out things in a drawer or even in your kitchen will instantly boost your morale and thus productivity.

4. Jam-jam-jamming

Music is a great source to release those ‘feel-good’ chemicals in your brain. Next time you feel low, tune in to ‘your-kind-of-music’ to blast away those dejections. Your all-time-favourite melody can transform your sulk into euphoria instantly.

5. Soul searching

None amongst us is alien to the technique of relaxation – meditation. Studies have shown that it can defend the psyche against gloomy thoughts and anguish. Try taking slow yet deep breaths just for about five minutes and you’ll be amazed to notice how light you actually feel.

6. Be rainbow bright

Get dressed in your most favourite colour, so what if it’s bright yellow. It’s been proven that colours have a reflective influence on how we feel and compose ourselves as certain shades have been associated with particular emotional states, for e.g. blue can stimulate creativity while red can aid in accuracy.

7. Relaxing scents

When you’re emotionally low, essential oils can make you feel more optimistic, calmer and blissful. A cup of tea with two teaspoons of the whole Lavender can help you unwind and feel more enriched. A few drops of the essential oil added to a warm bath at the close of a taxing day helps to battle exhaustion and ease your qualms.

8. Give me some sunshine

The sun plays a dynamic role in our fitness and well-being and not getting enough of it can make us feel pretty gloomy. So, if your morning didn't really turn out the way you envisaged, don’t fret over it with the curtains closed feeling pathetic about yourself. Instead, open the windows and blinds and enjoy that sunlight flooding in. If nothing else, this will certainly lift your mood in a tick.

9. Watch a funny video

Internet is the greatest source of funniest videos – right from the Gangnam style dancing babies to dogs on the skateboards to the re-run of your favourite comedy TV shows. It’s worth noting that laughter releases endorphin which is awesome in boosting the mood promptly. Hence, next time you feel blue, try catching up with ‘Comedy Circus’ or ‘Friends’ or even an all-time-favourite movie ‘Padosan’ which will definitely release some giggles and guffaws.

10. Flip through old photos

Who wouldn't be exultant and content looking at the photographs of good old times and our loved ones? That feeling of ease and joy is a sure remedy to revitalize your day. We seldom tend to reach for our old photo albums and what else can be a better motive than to chase off our solitude and anxiety!

11. Sex

Great sex may be one of the ultimate mood boosters, if it is within a mutually committed relationship. In fact, semen contains dominant and potentially addictive mood-altering chemicals that may enhance your mood if some of them are absorbed through the walls of the vagina.

12. Stock on snacks

We've all had our days when we’re totally dragging and instead of reaching for that pack of chips, there’s a smarter way to beat that crash. Stashing some or all of the below snacks in your fridge can be a great saver for that insta-energy.
Dark chocolate
Yep, I know I've just typed those two ridiculously sinful words. Besides having special antioxidants in it, dark chocolate keeps blood vessels in fine fettle. It also causes our body to release endorphins which enhances our mood.
Nuts, like almonds or walnuts
Nuts are confirmed to contribute an additional vigour helping you stay attentive due to the presence of Omega-3s, a well-known mood booster. So, it makes perfect sense in having a handful for munching on or adding some to your salads. Delish!
Fruits and veggies
As veggies are full of H2O, your body will promptly respond to them. And more water means energy boost. Certain vegetables like tomatoes have outrageous amounts of antioxidants, which again bless your system with happiness and good health. Fruits like oranges and grapefruits are rich in Vitamin C and hence are immediate energy promoters battling fatigue instantly.
Seafood
Seafood and shellfish contains Selenium that is accountable for the contentment that you feel, and can support you to ease anxiety and enrich you with the ‘get-up-and-go’ attitude.
Plenty of water
Sticking to that “8 glasses of water a day” rule is one of the most treasured things you can do for your physical and mental health. Revitalizing your body with more water is proved to have instantaneous energy effects adding a happy boost.
(The above article was published at Saffron Sunshine, a leading e-publication)

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Valentine's Day...what is it?


I am pissed…I am frustrated….I am upset…I am distressed…I am disappointed… and if this is really not enough, I AM irritated, angry, exasperated….and tired, too!

NO, I wasn't scrutinizing my vocabulary on the adjectives; I was fairly sharing my emotional state of being ALONE…well-nigh all by yourself, with kids hitting the sack and no one to talk to. Well, this is the typical scene at my home day after day but today? Wasn't today exceptional? Wasn't it meant to be for all those who're bound by affection, love and care? Wasn't it doomed to be spent together; with someone close to you?

Each year, I make a puerile wish and desire for something different. I hope for a variation in the monotony. I hope for something that will really sweep me off my feet. No, I am not a college kid and I am very conscious of the fact that I shall soon be turning 35, the big breakthrough in womanhood when the clock is meant to be ticking the reverse way! Well, I am someone who’s been married for the last Twelve years with an adorable set of Twins. (Disregard my recent post condemning Motherhood…that was just momentary thwart)

Still…..I love being showered with roses, gifted with chocolates, offered with amazing perfumes and invited over for a lavish, romantic, candlelit dinner! I recognise that he loves me profoundly but I also know for definite that he wouldn't do any of the above…no chance, at all!

Hence, I decided to indulge myself and make me feel special. I got these beautiful red roses, each dedicated to the most adorable people in my life. Yes, you read it right! They are dedicated to the man I love the most (after Pa, of course) and my two beloveds who undoubtedly enhance my insanity sometimes but make my life all worth for!




And although, you don't give me roses and chocolates and perfumes are perhaps, the least you are thinking, I still love you!